Special freinds ^_^

Yesterday,I went to Jusco

with my friends from tuition.

They were Swee Yeng,Ah Khei and Katie.

I studied in the same kindergarten
with Swee Yeng and Katie
but we had lost contact until I met them
in the tuition centre.
I was one of the customer of Khei's mother
(she's a hair stylist) and we also met each other
in that tuition centre.
We live in the same area but studied in different schools
and we are good friends until now.

Sometimes,I felt relaxing when I talked to them
if I compared them with my friends from school.
There was no rat race among us
and there were endless topics for our conversation.
I like them very much.
Their characters are "cute".
We learn,laugh
and...even scream together.

Yesterday,we went to Jusco.
(Why do I mention again?)
We watched "Red Riding Hood".
It was really interesting
and it was shocking when we found out
the actual villain was not the one we thought.
It was worth to watch it.
Highly recommend ...
We also ate sushi inside the cinema.
Shh!This was our secret.
After that,we went for window shopping
and had our lunch in Pizza Hut.

It was quite a good day.
Before that,I was unhappy and confusing
when I considered where to study.
However,I was happy with this outing.

It's not easy to meet good friends nowadays.
Everyone is selfish and unfaithful.
I appreciate our friendship.
Friendship forever^_^
xoxo
Haha...

JPA interview

Yesterday,I went to Veledrom
for the JPA interview.
It was quite a special experience.
Actually,I didn't have high expectation
to get the scholarship as
I was not as multi-talented as others.
They were many candidates who
were more eligible.
I just went there to gain experience.

Before that,I could not find suitable attire
for the interview.
Some told me to wear baju kurung.
Baju kurung?
Honestly,I didn't have any Malay or Indian friends.
Luckily,Cousin Wai lent me her baju kurung
but I didn't wear it eventually
as it was too long for me.
It was also weird when I wore it.
I finally wore a shirt with long sleeves and collar
and a long pants.
It was my first time to wear a pair of high heels.

During the interview,
I was very nervous.
My group only consisted of 3 people.
(Actually,every group must consist of 5 people.)
We all are Chinese
and I am the only girl.
I wondered whether the other boys received English education
as they could speak fluent English.
One of the boy looked smart but he kept on nodding
when others were sharing their opinions
as if he really agreed with what we said.
Did he really need to act like that or did
he actually really agree with our ideas?

The panel of judges was made up of
Chinese,Malay and Indian.
Satu Malaysia~
I didn't understand what they asked
and simply answered them.
I thought they only asked about myself
but they also asked me about your opinion
for the current issue.
"Why do you think the newspaper is better
than internet though it can transfer information
faster than the newspaper?"
Alamak!
I had completely no idea about it!
I then simply told them that
the newspaper gives the correct information.
There are many rumours appeared in the internet
and there are still people who
don't have internet service at home.
I was wondering why they asked us such
difficult questions as my friends were asked
about their favourite food,durian etc.
Is it because there was no Malay in our group?
Is it because hard questions were for those canditates
who chose to study abroad?

Never mind.
I have tried my best and I don't care
whether I can get the scholarship.
I really appreciate to have this opportunity
to attend the interview.
At least,I gain some useful experiences.
I know I have to improve my thinking,
speaking skills and of course my English.
Thank for those who have helped me.
Thank all my family members,Yuan ling,
Swee Yeng,Swee Ann,Lpk,Cousin wai,aunt...

The next thing I need to do is
to decide which university or college I should enroll in.
I hope I can make a wise decision soon.

Confusing...

I finally got good result in SPM.
Yup,I am happy and satisfied
but confused about my future right now.

I can get full scholarship in UTAR
but I'm afraid that the college is not good enough
like what others said--the graduates there
are less employable.

I also don't know wheather I should
go to UCSI.
Last time,I really hoped to go to Nottingham
but I found out the fee is extremely high.

Before that,I thought I really wanted to
leave home.
I get the chance now
but I hesitate for a long while.
I realize that I'll be homesick
if I am away from home.
I love my family members very much
and they love me,too.
I'll miss my grandma,grandpa,
dad,aunt and of course
my two sis though they are sometimes bossy.
I'll miss my best friend,too.
As you know,I'm hot-tempered
and I don't think I can find someone
who can listen to my grumble whole-heartedly.

My sis kept on asking me to
stay here to study in Form6
but I'm worried I can't get good result in STPM
and waste the 2yrs time.
Many say the teachers in RPS are lossy and
I don't know wheather I should transfer to
St.Michael or ACS as both are far from my house.
I denitely don't go to Sam Tet
as I want to change to Arts stream
so that I can study English or Media Studies in my future.
My sis also said I can teach tuition here
to earn some savings before I go to
the city to pursue my dream.
I know she needs my help.
Everyone is selfish and I understand it.
I just wonder whether it is worth to sacrifice myself.
Am I just useful for temporary?

I get the opportunity to attend the interview
for JPA scholarship.
I just simply picked "pelancongan" for oversea
and "sastera" for local.
I'm eligible for the oversea part
but it needs the interview.
I don't really want to choose "pelancongan"
as there are no courses that I want.
I just want the "sastera" but...

Ahh,I really don't know what I should do now!!!

Regret!!!

After 4 days,SPM results will be announced.
I'm afraid I can't get straight As.
I'm afraid I will disappoint them--
Grandma,grandpa,dad,sis,Mr Yoong
and also other relatives.
They really have high expectation towards me.

I regretted I didn't try my best in the exam.
I regretted I didn't use the correct tenses
while writing the English essay.
I regretted I slept a lot during the preparation.
I regretted I didn't attend for extra tuition
for Physics.
I regretted I didn't work hard in Malays,History,Biology...

However,it's too late for everything!

Gambling...

There are many people in this world prefer
to be  gamblers.
I met a special "gambler" last night.
Life and future are her wager that
makes her different from other ordinary gamblers.

During her first gambling,
she staked her career
and she really destroyed it.
Did she really completely lose everything?
No,she didn't.
To your surprise,she won friendship and family support.

Now,she decides to start another trial.
It's another horrible gambling.
She tries to attain her dream.
This time,life and future will again become her wager.
It'a tiring journey to oppose others'perceptions.

I can feel how determined she is from our conservation.
I doubted that where she can get such
courage that guides her to make such decision.
Yup,she's like what her friends said---crazy but tough.

I look back my life.
I have made a terrible mistake.
I did't appreciate any opportunities
to know who I was.
I rejected to learn new thing
and to be closer with my friend.
I was afraid to know my weakness
and to be hurt by my friends.
This made me to be isolated by others.
I remained to be out-dated.
Courage is what I am lack of.

This "gambler" taught me some new things
though there were still some that I didn't believe
but I strongly believe that she will win that challenging gambling.

I must start to work hard.
I can't decide how my background is
but I still can decide how my future is.
Hard work will be my precious wager that can fulfill my dream.

Good luck,Miss "Gambler".

Exhausted...

I love this pic so much.I got it from a blog.

I have not seen such breathtaking scenery for a long time.

It's the same world but why is the world

so small and "ugly" in my mind?

Today is a very sad day.

I have wasted the money and time

but I also didn't pass my driving test.

I don't know why I was so nervous.

It's the thing that I always can't control it.

My tears almost fell down.

My nose turned red.

It's so heart-breaking that I could not

accept it  right now.

I nearly did it but in vain.

Now,I think I should believe in what my aunt said.

I can study well but useless for everything.

I can't draw well as I don't have such talent.

I can't involve in sport as I don't have such talent.

I shouldn't waste my time and money to learn driving.

Everyone knows that I don't have such talent.

I regreted for making such stupid decision.

I should realise that the world is so cruel

and I was born in this way--foolish and talentless.

I'm exhausted.

I admit that I'm afraid of challenges.

Can I just do what I like?

I just want to be comfortable and relaxing.





Where should I go?

I have tried to find some pic of road but I can't find suitable size that I want.
I was really tired and sad these few days.
My grandpa finally went home after staying in
hospital for a few days.
I was really upset when my aunt blamed my sis and me
as we didn't take good care of  Grandpa.
I knew it's my fault but did anyone want him to be sick?
Why did  you all never think that it's also
your faults as you work oversea and only care about your children?
Why did you all never think that you can make in living in Malaysia?
You never think that we live miserably as if we have not parents
because you're afraid that you can't earn money and lead a better life here.
You never consider how we feel.

I saw some arrogant  relatives visiting my grandpa.
Their face was flushed with anger when I didn't greet them.
FUCK!
In my mind,I never know what politeness is
and I only know  what a hypocrite is.
I will never act like a hypocrite like
what you did though I won't be liked by others.
I was used to it and I will just compare you
with SHIT!
It's exactly the same--terrible and lousy.
You will never get my respect forever and forever.

I finally didn't go for my driving  test.
I hate to drive car.It's troublesome.
Those who teached me driving are awful and lousy.
I hate to live in Malaysia.
Why should they scold when I didn't understand Malay?
Why should we,Malaysian Chinese learn their language?
Why don't they also learn our language?
That man who tested me in QTI is insane.
God is also mad .God likes to tease me.
I have expected I can't drive well
but why didn't my effort pay off when I worked hard
in aspect that I was apt to whereas others can own success easily?

I really want to leave here
and start a new life.
FREEDOM!That's what I long for
but where should I go?

I should get my driving license quickly.
I must earn more money before I leave here.
I must go to somewhere that I can find peace,freedom and dream
but where should I go?