Confusing...

I finally got good result in SPM.
Yup,I am happy and satisfied
but confused about my future right now.

I can get full scholarship in UTAR
but I'm afraid that the college is not good enough
like what others said--the graduates there
are less employable.

I also don't know wheather I should
go to UCSI.
Last time,I really hoped to go to Nottingham
but I found out the fee is extremely high.

Before that,I thought I really wanted to
leave home.
I get the chance now
but I hesitate for a long while.
I realize that I'll be homesick
if I am away from home.
I love my family members very much
and they love me,too.
I'll miss my grandma,grandpa,
dad,aunt and of course
my two sis though they are sometimes bossy.
I'll miss my best friend,too.
As you know,I'm hot-tempered
and I don't think I can find someone
who can listen to my grumble whole-heartedly.

My sis kept on asking me to
stay here to study in Form6
but I'm worried I can't get good result in STPM
and waste the 2yrs time.
Many say the teachers in RPS are lossy and
I don't know wheather I should transfer to
St.Michael or ACS as both are far from my house.
I denitely don't go to Sam Tet
as I want to change to Arts stream
so that I can study English or Media Studies in my future.
My sis also said I can teach tuition here
to earn some savings before I go to
the city to pursue my dream.
I know she needs my help.
Everyone is selfish and I understand it.
I just wonder whether it is worth to sacrifice myself.
Am I just useful for temporary?

I get the opportunity to attend the interview
for JPA scholarship.
I just simply picked "pelancongan" for oversea
and "sastera" for local.
I'm eligible for the oversea part
but it needs the interview.
I don't really want to choose "pelancongan"
as there are no courses that I want.
I just want the "sastera" but...

Ahh,I really don't know what I should do now!!!