ESCAPE...

I have watched a few episodes of Cinderella's Stepsister in these few days.
Ya,I know I am a bit out-dated.I should watch it in 2010.
Actually,I wanted to watch it when I saw the synopsis from newspaper.
Again,it's due to study.It's quite disappointing and boring aft the 1st  4 episodes.

I am shocked that the main character,Eun Jo is like me,
a typically teenage misanthrope.
Our characters are almost the same,
except that my mum doesn't married many times
but my mum is also money-minded.
I am like Eun Jo as I want to ESCAPE from this house.
Really!!!

I still remember that my mum told me to get money
from her father-in-law(my grandpa)when I asked her to
pay for my tuition fee and that was the time I realised that
money is so pivotal for both of us.
I still remember that my rich,but wicked relatives
teased my family and me in a dinner and that was the time I realised that
being wealth and looking beautiful are extremely important.

I hate these!
Why do I need to "act" nicely to them everytime?
Why do I need to pretend that I don't care what they said about me?
FUCK!!!

I am so angry when I  knew that my cousin
is influenced  bad friends and becomes rebellious.
I won't be upset if that person is not you.
I only care my family member.
I only care those whose parents leave them and
work oversea like what my parents do.
Ya,I really want to be rebellious like what you do.
I really don't like to study and want to burn the books.
I hate the stupid teacher and want to scold her
but I don't do them finally.Why?
I don't scold the teacher as I don't want my grandma to be sad.
I study hard as I want to prove that I can be as good as other children
though I am brought up by my granparents.
However,I finally realise that what I do is in vain.
It's totally a failure
because of what u guys do.
You make other ppl think that we are problem-makers in the society.

It's been 17 years
that I live without my parents though my dad loves me very much.
I don't have the right to compete with my two sisters
to struggle for parental love.

During my childhood,
I found out that marriage is a thing that
can either "decorate" or "spoil" your life.
It's not exactly crucial in life.
I don't need it to enrich my life.
Furthermore,I don't think that I will meet a good guy
like Eun Jo meets Ki Hoon.

Yesterday,I met my former tuition teacher .
I really thank him though he is fierce.
He is the person to show me that my effort will be paid off.
I will remember that that was the moment that
I really worked for what I want and it worked~
However,I am tired already.I really want to give up.

I just want to escape from this house
and learn to be independent and even strong.
I want to go to other places
and make my mind wider.
I don't want to be a good person as kindness will never be appreciated.
I want to be a villain.

Gift

Those who have watched "我们结婚了" will definitely love Adam Couple.
Althought Jokwon(from 2am) and Gain(from Brown Eyed Girl) are not really
handsome and pretty,they are extremely hilarious and nice.
I love them so much.They really match each other.
I was moved by them.
The song"Gift" was touching.
I saw my sis crying when we watched this together.
Sometimes,we can easily be moved by characters in drama
thought we do not really know them.
What's about our family members that love us so much?!

Yesterday,I watched a TV show and the mc said that children are gifts from God.
Yaya.They are precious than anything in this world.
Most of my family members treat me as if  they treat their most precious treasure.
However,I don't think that I am their "gift" but a heavy luggage.
I bring a lot of troubles to them.
I hate driving and was badly scolded by the men
but my family members especially my aunt wants me to pass the test.
I don't know what I should do.
It's IMPOSSIBLE to pass it.That probability is almost zero.

Plz don't treat me so well.
It's not worth to do so.
I will feel sorry if you guys treat me so well.

Instead of being your lovely gifts,
you all are actually my most pecious GIFTS


I love you guys forever...

Reborn...

That is not special meaning why I insert this pic.Maybe it's  just  because the tree is as lonely as me.
Nobody wants to know me.Nobody wants to care me.
It's a bit boring and sad to go through these days.I would not say it's hard as there are many people who live harder than me.Yeah,I shouldn't grumble about it.Maybe living alone is a better lifestyle for me.


Oh,yes!I almost forget to introduce myself.I'm a newbie for blogspot but I had been blogging using wretch which is usually used by Taiwaneses.I had stopped using it as I was having problem with the Chinese Star XP System.So,I try to use blogspot now as I can put pic easily thought I seldom take photos.
I doesn't have an attractive appearance as u can see in my photos.Sometimes,I am sad about it but it is useless to do so.Life must go on.Furthermore,it is weird if  I look beautiful as it will not match with my wicked character.It must be special meaning or mission why God  gives an ugly appearance,a sluggish brain and a 'special' family background(my parents work outstation and I am brought up by my grandparents).Isn't God want me to begin cosmetic and skincare business to help those who have the same faith like me?Isn't God want me to gain success to prove to my mum that her ugly daughter can find a  job thought I look simple?Pls forgive me for lying to myself.It's a way that I comfort myself but I strongly believe that I can achieve my goals oneday.I will show those who intentionly tease me that they are actually uglier than me.


I have been wasting my time in these days.I should change my attitude and reborn.I should restart my journey.These are my wishes for 2011:


1)Getting 10As in SPM
   Achievable:50%(I didn't work really hard this time.I was shocked while having Mathematics test.It's
   unexpectedly difficult and it's a shame if I can't get A+ for it.I think I had used wrong tenses for my  English   essay.It was a stupid decision to choose that question.I was almost fainted as I was writing nonsense for Malay novel part  and I simply did my Physics.)


2)Getting my driving license
    Achievable:40%(I still don't know the skills about parking and others.Moreover,the man who teaches me driving is not really good and reliable.It's still need some time to do it and may waste a lot of money.)


3)Being cared by others
   Achievable:20%(Sometimes,I really think that I'm transparent like air.It's the most heartbroken memory in 2010 when I was 'abandoned' by my friends during the graduation ceremony as I didn't wear gorgeous gown like what they weared.They just left me alone and went around to take photos with the others.I admit that I didn't spend much time with them but I often lent my homeworks and helped them whole-heartedly.Now,I realise that I am nothing to them.I don't expect that I can become popular among my friends but at least don't isolate me thought I am tought.)


4)Losing my weight
   Achievable:0%(I dOoon't think I can do it as I am lazy to do exercise and I eat a lot everyday.)


Lastly,I hope I can learn to be more independent and all my family members are in the pink of health as they are important than whatever.